The 5th Annual GWAR B-Q – a gathering of meat, metal and mayhem – is approaching almost as fast as the Antarctic ice is melting, and GWAR‘s Slave Pit is bustling with activity. The slaves, flanked by the Grill Ghoul, have been working themselves to the marrow to ensure the wildest, wettest flail-fest of this or any summer. As a reward for their hard work, GWAR has generously allowed them to share some event details. For those craving even more information, what follows is everything from how to get there, to where to stay, to ways you can earn the adulation of other dimwitted meatbags.
Grill Ghoul was approached outside of his mobile trailer home and made the following statement: “Those of you that obey your lords and masters GWAR will actually be guaranteed sex! Not with a person, though…most likely with an animal… or maybe a relative?”
GWAR B-Q will take place on Saturday, August 16th, RAIN or SHINE, at Hadad’s Lake (7900 Osborne Turnpike, Richmond, VA 23231) http://hadadslake.com/. The event opens at 10:00am and the first band will hit the stage at 10:30am. The musical onslaught will continue relentlessly over two stages, where the almighty GWAR will deliver an earth shattering headline performance! Currently announced bands can be found at http://gwarbq.com/bands.
A public memorial honoring Dave Brockie will be held
Aug. 15th at Hadads Lake from 4:00pm-7:00pm. Bear witness to this historic event as Oderus Urungus’ form will burn upon the SS Boat as he makes his journey back to Valhalla and beyond.
The 5th annual GWAR B-Q is co-sponsored by Mount Baker Vapor, known for their 100% American-made e-liquids. The company recently launched a line of five official GWAR fluids: Bloodbath, Jizmoglobin, GWARY4, Spew and German Chocolate Beefcake. Bohabs and vaping aficionados alike have been praising these high-quality, low-priced juices and other vaping supplies and all will be available to try at Mount Baker Vapor’s vending tent at the GWAR B-Q. Check them out: http://mtbakervapor.com
Continuing the juicy relationship between GWAR and Mount Baker Vapor, Beefcake the Mighty will bring his hulking form to the World Vapor Expo this weekend in Miami Beach. Beefcake will hold court at the Mount Baker Vapor booth to show off all the official GWAR juices as well as GWAR MVP wraps.
The World Vapor Expo is a large, first-of-its kind conference, taking place at the Miami Beach Convention Center 1901 Convention Center Dr. Miami, FL 33139. It will be open to the public on both Saturday, June 7th 10:00am-8pm and Sunday, June 8th 10:00am-6:00pm. Get there early before Beefcake uses up all their stock! For more information, visit http://worldvaporexpo.com.
Beefcake the Mighty, GWAR bassist and Mount Baker Vapor endorser, proclaims, “Being a intergalactic connoisseur of all things delicious, I’m extremely happy to have Mount Baker Vapor as a co-sponsor of the GWAR B-Q festival! I teamed up with Mount Baker Vapor to bring you these specialty GWAR fluids that are so good they may cause you to die from sheer pleasure, which is very exciting.”
GET YOUR TICKETS
Tickets for the GWAR B-Q go on SALE June 6th at 12:01 AM Eastern, exclusively at http://gwarbq.com! This leaves you just enough time to sell a few pints of plasma or eBay your virginity to buy your way into what will be the greatest event of your pitiful life!
By now, bohabs are spinning in circles, furiously sucking their thumbs. Before you fashion your duck waders and fancy swimming pantaloons and make your way to Hadad’s Lake, remember this: PARKING IS LIMITED! That means jump in your big-wheel, hop on a goat, or make friends for once in your miserable life to CARPOOL, because any car arriving occupied by just ONE PERSON will be TURNED AWAY AT THE GATE!
For the ultimate in convenience, BUS shuttles will run before, during and after the GWAR B-Q to and from Airport Hotels, the VCU campus and downtown Richmond, providing you with all the safety and style of public transportation. Bus stop locations and schedule will be posted at http://gwarbq.com/transportation. Directions to Hadad’s Lake are at http://gwarbq.com/directions.
While passing out in the port-o-lets at the GWAR B-Q is probably your first choice, it’s not your only lodging option. Shamin Hotels Airport Properties is providing special rates for GWAR B-Q attendees. Check out the amenities at these fine establishments.
Holiday Inn Express – $99 rate, continental breakfast included
Guests may call the hotel at (804)-222-1499 and request a room in the GWAR B-Q block or book online at http://www.hiexpress.com/richmondarpt. Check site for amenities.
Click on add a group code and enter GBQ.
Holiday Inn – $109 rate, hot breakfast included
Guests may call the hotel at (804)-236-1111 and request a room in the GWAR B-Q block or book online at www.holidayinn.com/richmondva. Check site for amenities.
Click on add a group code and enter GBQ.
Hampton Inn – $99 rate, hot breakfast and “On the Run” breakfast bag included
Guests may call the hotel at (804)-226-1888 and request a room in the GWAR B-Q block or book online at www.richmondairport.hamptoninn.com. Check site for amenities. Click on add a group code and enter GBQ.
Hilton Garden Inn – $109 rate, hot breakfast included
Guests may call the hotel at (804)-222-3338 and request a room in the GWAR B-Q block or book online at www.richmondairport.hgi.com. Check site for amenities.
Click on add a group code and enter GWAR.
STUFF TO DO
GWAR B-Q is not just about punishing your eardrums and stomach. Previous attendees will either smile or cringe to hear the Spew-O-Lympics are returning. For the uninitiated, it’s a series of psychotic semi-aquatic contests judged by drunken idiots, pitting other drunken idiots against one another for valuable prizes and personal glory. Events include “King of the Swing,” “Beware of the Blob,” and “Sperm and Slide and Die.” Reigning two-time champion “Gold Member” looks to defend his crown against new blood just to gain another chance to destroy the grand prize in the parking lot in a fit of frustration.
Gold Member, Spew-O-Lympics Champion
While participation is highly sought-after, it’s limited to 25 entrants. To be considered, potential entrants must submit an essay and photo to email@example.com by July 31st to explain why they’re worthy of humiliating themselves for the chance to win big. GWAR will be hand-claw-picking the top 25, (in a completely random manner) while the rest will be used as toilet paper.
Names of the lucky winners will be posted on August 1st at both GWAR‘s Facebook page (http://facebook.com/gwar) and the GWAR B-Q website http://gwarbq.com/. Contestants must then waddle over to the merch booth on Saturday Aug. 16th and register immediately after doors open at 10:00am. That will give them two-and-a-half hours to primp and pray before the events begin at 12:30pm.
FBM Bike Co. will make their second GWAR B-Q appearance in their tight jean shorts as they fling themselves and their bikes high into the air above Hadad’s Lake only to crash into it.
John Russo, producer and co-writer of the legendary Night of the Living Dead, will be at the GWAR B-Q to sign stuff, answer questions about the most influential movie in horror movie history, and promote his latest horror film in production, Midnight. Feel free to utilize his brain with all your moviemaking and zombie-related questions; just don’t eat it.
STUFF TO BUY
You know you’d much rather have kick-ass stuff than a pocket full of paper. Fortunately, the GWAR B-Q has a slew of great, GWAR-approved vendors who will gladly trade with you. Along with Mount Baker Vapor, here is just a small sampling of other announced vendors: Check http://gwarbq.com/events for the full line up.
Blakhart Guitars – watch GWAR‘s own Pustulus Maximus melt faces with his Blakhart, then take one home! Site: http://blakhartguitars.com
Guitar Center – even if you can’t carry a tune or tie your shoes, these guys will help you find an instrument you don’t suck at. Site: http://www.guitarcenter.com/
Smutlife – creators of some of the rawest, most uncut clothing with which to hide your shameful body. Site: http://smutlife.mybigcommerce.com
Five Point Records – the place to buy your rock-band apparel, including GWAR! Site: http://fivepointrecords.com/
DON’T FORGET ABOUT TICKETS
Tickets for the GWAR B-Q go on SALE June 6th at 12:01 AM Eastern, exclusively at http://gwarbq.com!